The final days…

It’s a little after midnight on Wednesday morning. I’m up writing because even if I was in bed I probably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anyway. So much is rushing through my head, so many thoughts, so much to do, so little time. I have 5 days until I get on the plane (I'll count today since its just beginning). This Sunday evening I’ll begin my journey to a far away and strange land. That evening I’ll say my goodbyes, hug and kiss my family, shed lots of tears, have a red nose, puffy eyes and lips, and board a plane. First I’ll stop in France, that’ll be nice even though I won’t leave the airport, but the real jitters will start once I board the second plane, this time with no tears but with fear and trepidation. I’ll get on the plane to Guinea, Africa where there’s no turning back. For the next 8 months life will be very different. I won’t have my family and friends within arms reach. At first I’ll feel alone because besides God no one will know me and I won’t know anyone. I’ll be the ‘American’ who came to Guinea, oh the ‘American missionary’ who works with the Colemans. To the Susu I might be strange, weird, different, interesting, and a myriad of other things. This makes me nervous, being looked upon as a an ‘outsider’, because I like to be accepted by people…we don’t have to be friends but at least accept me for who I am. Hmmmmm….so I guess I’m really not THAT different from the Coleman family and the Susu. We’re both in very similar situations. Neither of us know anything about each other, we’ll feel awkward and strange around their other because they’re different. And most of all we hope to be accepted and to fit into their world, or for the Colemans and the Susu maybe they hope that I’ll accept them and their world.

There’s so much I still have to do…like pack :). As each day passes I get a little more excited and nervous at the same time. I know that Sunday is going to be a very hard day, but I also know that it will pass. I know that I won’t be separated from my family forever and I’ll return before I know it. Soon it’ll be a year later and I’ll look back and my stay in Guinea will seem like a dream. But most importantly I know that God will carry me through it. He’s called me to this mission. He pried opened my eyes, ears, and heart when I didn’t want to even consider missions. And then after I started and thought it wasn’t going to work I said “Look I tried God and it’s just not working out so I guess it’s not for me, but at least I tried. That counts for something right?” God said “Oh it’s going to work out, just not how or when you think. In My time, it’ll all work out.” He brought me through the application process, training, fundraising, and even after all that when I felt it just wasn’t going to work because of loans God made a way. What a mighty God I serve. I look back at the path I took to get here, it was pretty rough and full of doubts..on my part, but HE brought me through. And after all He’s brought me through I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He’s NOT going to leave me once I get on that plane Sunday evening or when I land in Guinea or 3 months down the road when I’m homesick, sick with malaria, and worn out. He won’t leave me when I feel I’m not accomplishing anything and I’m wasting my time in Guinea. He won’t leave because He loves me and He’s invested in me and wants to see me succeed, especially doing HIS work. God will bring me through all the rough, tough, and dark days to bring me to days where I feel on top of the world because I made someone smile or brightened their day or shared the love of Christ. And even if I never see the effects of my being in Guinea while I’m here on this earth, I know that I will see how God used me to plant seeds when I get to Heaven. Oh I long for that day, even more than I long for my safe return to my family next year or having a successful and happy life.

The Commission and Promise:

 

“And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, [even] unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matt 28:18-20